when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i drank out of a bidet.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
