yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
