as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
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