we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
