there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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