i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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