just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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