I wish I could teleport
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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