That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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