don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
