There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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