dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
