Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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