I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
