dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
