East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
