They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
