I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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