What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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