I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I look better un-naked...
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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