Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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