you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
