The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
