So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
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