I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
