You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
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