redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
