she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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