it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
