his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i dont even know how to be here
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
And then the night went full on bisexual.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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