At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Randomize
