i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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