He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
