It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i came on her dog
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
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