2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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