My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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