p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
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I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
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Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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