In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
