dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Randomize
