I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
she told me i tasted like america
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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