I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
