shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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