Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
