i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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