She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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