3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
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