hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
