I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I smell like Dick and happiness
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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