Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
two words: eviction party
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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