i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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