I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
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No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
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Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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