this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
you would pick up someone in the library
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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