I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
