I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
