I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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