I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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