About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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