tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
