you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
