He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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