debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
