oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
They have beer where we have blood.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
