Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
